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Relationships 24/29/2018 To be able to do that, we will need to become more honest about our limitations, fears and aware of the behaviours that reinforce the negative patterns and start changing them. For example, if we find that we respond in anger everytime something does not go the way we want, we need to ask where the anger comes from? Are we achieving the desired effect by responding in this way? How this response make us feel afterwards? How is it affecting our relationships with those near us?
I find that when I "loose it", I feel as if I had ingested a toxic substance that makes me feel ill for a long time afterwards. I also find that instead of getting what I want, most times, my angry outburst is used against me to justify other people's bad behaviour. It just make it harder for me to manage the situation. I also find that it usually represents my own feeling of helplessness, because, when I am really sure of myself and my rights, I bahave assertuvely, but not angrily. These days, more and more, if I feel anger rising inside of me, instead of responsing immediateky, I take some time off until I feel in control again, then I respond. What I have been finding is that helps me to be more effective in getting what I need (which, surprise surprise), is not always what I first thought I wanted. :)
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Relashioships4/29/2018 Unless we live alone in the middle of a desert, we have people in our lives, whom we have to comunicate with. And, even if we are completely alone, we still need to have a relationship with ourselves. The interesting thing is that we so often concentrate on how other people affect us, but almost aways negglect to appreciate how hour relationship with ourselves, how we feel about ourselves, affect us.
The fact is, most people have a really bad relationship with themselves, often based in negglect, resentment, disrespect, which is mor often thatn not, the real cause of ow others treat us, as, without realising, we use them as a mirror to reflect back how we really feel about ourselves. So, if we want to be respected, let us ask ourselves: 'How much do I respect myself?', If we want to be loved, let us ask: 'How much do I really love myself?' and so on, and start making changes within us forst, beforfe expecting everything else to change. Because, if we do learn to listen to or core needs, and start behaving towards ourselves in a more holesome, loving way, then others will also respond to it and do likewise.
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Pain4/8/2018 We all experience pain.
In many ways, it is easier to cope with phisical pain than with emotional pain. It helps that physical pain is usually short lived and there are many treatment options and most of us, don't even need to visit the doctor, just get to our local pharmacy to get some help. Emotional pain is a different matter. Sometimes we can't even define it. There is also chronic physical pain, the type thate is there to stay. So, what to do when we know that there is littel or nothing that a doctor can do to help? In the following days I'll be writing about some of the alternatives to managing pain. But, for now, just remember that exists for a reason and I;ll be exploring some of those also. Many people live with chronic pain and trying to manage it with medication alone creates other dangers, not lest that of becoming addicted to pain killers. Also, as anyone who had to take painkillers for any significant time knows, they stop working as well after some time. So, what else is available for those having to live with chronic pain? The HNS choices website (https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Pages/hub.aspx), offers a lot of information and also links to other websites such as Pain Concern (http://painconcern.org.uk/), Action on Pain (http://wwwaction-on-pain.co.uk/) and Away with Pain (http://www.awaywithpain.co.uk/). |